Why "Just Communicate Better" Harms People Pushed to the Margins of Society
This essay is part of the Growth-Promoting Conversations™ series from WaterYourFire Wellness Collective, exploring dignity-preserving, power-aware, future-building communication.
Why This Phrase Is Not Neutral
“Just communicate better” is rarely neutral.
For people pushed to the margins of society, communication is not simply about expression.
It is a negotiation with power, safety, history, and consequence.
This phrase collapses structural vulnerability into a personal skill deficit. It places responsibility for safety on those who are already navigating disproportionate risk.
Growth-Promoting Conversations™ refuse that framing.
Conversations Always Happen Inside Power
Conversations do not happen in a vacuum.
They happen inside:
Racial hierarchies
Gender policing
Economic dependence
Immigration status
Workplace precarity
Healthcare gatekeeping
Family power structures
This is not an exhaustive list — it names some of the most common contexts in which power shapes conversational risk.
The unspoken demand beneath “just communicate better” is often:
Are you willing to risk your safety to make me more comfortable?
Growth-Promoting Conversations™ do not require that sacrifice.
Why Common Communication Advice Fails
Most mainstream communication advice prioritizes:
Calm over safety
Politeness over truth
Compliance over dignity
Resolution over regulation
Harmony over justice
This advice is often presented as universal while being built around bodies, identities, and social locations that are already presumed safe.
Growth-Promoting Conversations™ take a different approach.
They are:
Nervous-system aware
Identity-honoring
Power-conscious
Dignity-preserving
Future-oriented
This is not about silence.
It is about structural care.
What Changes When Conversations Become Growth-Promoting
When conversations become growth-promoting:
Shutdown decreases
Boundaries become clearer
Self-expression feels safer
Repair becomes more accessible
Relational exhaustion lessens
Connection becomes more sustainable
This is not soft work.
It is infrastructure-building.
Closing
Growth-Promoting Conversations™ help people:
Protect dignity
Increase safety
Expand self-trust
Build sustainable relationships
Interrupt inherited harm
Grow futures
They exist because communication should not cost people their wholeness.
Continue the Series
What Are Growth-Promoting Conversations™? (Already published)
More essays in the Growth-Promoting Conversations™ series are forthcoming.
Reflections and responses to this piece are hosted on Substack, where comments are moderated to preserve dignity, identity, and nervous-system safety.
